


Ghost John

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Series: Rare Ships Creation Challenge [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Ghost John, Hunters' Revolving Door Afterlife, Mary Deals With Trauma Oddly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-28 23:38:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8467489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: Mary gets an unexpected visitor in the hospital.(Normally, I'm a bit of an overtagger for warnings, but at this point when John's been dead for over ten years, is it really worth tagging Major Character Death?)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the SPN Rare Ship Creation Challenge @rareshipscreationschallenge on Tumblr.
> 
> Prompt: John/Mary, massages.
> 
> Loosely inspired by Jeffrey Dean Morgan's character arc on Grey's Anatomy. Sorry. (Not sorry.) (For the record, I've never actually WATCHED the show, so all I know about the character arc is Isabel from Roswell sleeps with Ghost Papa Winchester.)

Three weeks. She’d been alive again for three weeks, and Mary was already in the hospital. At least it was a concussion and blood loss, instead of burns, but it still wasn’t fun. Sam and Dean had come right away when they heard. Which was nice, if not particularly helpful in dealing with her grief at having lost her little boys. The men they’d become were good men, and she loved them already, she did. They were both great hunters and even better men. The problem was that she couldn’t deal with the men when she was still seeing her boys.

She’d met up with Gwen Campbell, too. Her second cousin Isaiah’s daughter. She’d never actually met Gwen before, Gwen was born after Mary got out of hunting, but she’d heard of her. Like her, Gwen had been raised from the dead. Unlike her, the story made sense. No grand apocalyptic God’s Freakin’ Sister mojo, just a good old-fashioned Isaiah found out his daughter was dead and brought her ass back to life. Now they were running together, the last active Campbell hunters, apparently. It was still lonely. Every day, she missed John so much. Reading the journal hadn’t really helped much, not with missing the mechanic and Marine she’d loved. There was the occasional glimpse of him sometimes, but John had become someone else after Mary had died.

“I’m sorry.”

Mary sat up as best she could, looking for the source of the whisper. “Who’s there?”

“Mary, it’s me. Close your eyes.” A hand landed on her shoulder, and the calluses immediately soothed her. It wasn’t quite the same, but she’d know John’s hand anywhere. She closed her eyes.

The hand slid down her arm, making her skin tingle. “John?”

“It’s me, Mary. I missed you so, so much.” Mary opened her eyes, and now she could see him. Barely. He looked ghostly. “I’m sorry.”

“How are you here, John? The boys… they said…” Mary shivered a little. This was a dream. It had to be. Didn't it?

John moved behind her, putting his hands on his shoulders and rubbing them gently, like he’d done for her when she was pregnant. “I died. I clawed my way out of Hell. I don’t remember anything after distracting that yellow-eyed bastard long enough for the boys to gank him. I know, you hate that they’re hunters, Mary. But at least they’re damn good at it.”

Mary closed her eyes again, leaning back into John’s hands. “I’m so sorry, John. I should have… you should have known about this. At the very least, I should’ve taught you how to protect yourself and the boys. It’s my fault, not yours.”

“Don’t do that to yourself, Mary. I’m not all that proud of the man I became after losing you. You shouldn’t be, either. But it’s not your fault.” John’s hands moved lower on her back. “At least I did something right… our boys are men to be proud of. Even Sam.”

Mary jerked away, eyes flying open. “What’s that supposed to mean, even Sam?”

“Sam was hounded by Hell wanting him for their leader since he was a baby. That’s a little hard to overcome and be a good person, Mary. And Dean… Dean remembered you. Not much, not well, but he remembered you. Sammy didn’t have that.” He reached out and pulled Mary back to him, holding her close. “Stubborn ass and rebellious as hell, but he’s a good person who was not afraid to fight for what he believed in. Dean was a good soldier who I just know would have been an even better officer, given half a chance. I’m proud of our boys, Mary. And I hope you can forgive me. I was doing the best I could with them, and I know it wasn’t near enough, but…”

Mary leaned against John. “Sam got out. And then, he came back. He says he can’t imagine being anything else, because this is what his family is. Was there ever any hope that things could be different, John? Could we ever have been the normal family I’d dreamed of?”

John rubbed circles on her back. “I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

Mary sighed. She hated herself for it, but she'd been a hunter too long not to deal with what was in front of her. “What do I do about you, John? If I leave you like this, you’ll become a vengeful spirit. After what I’ve been through the past few weeks… bringing you back just feels wrong. But I can’t just let you go, either. I need you, John. Everything’s so… strange.”

“If you bring me back, you’re not bringing back the mechanic you married, Mary. You know that. I outlived you by over twenty years, hard years of hunting and alcoholism and grief. Do you really want to see me like that?”

“That’s right, it’ll only be, what, ten years for you? Eleven? Not… thirty-three. You probably have some idea about Google and cell phones and things.”

“Some. Not much.” John reached for Mary’s hands. “If you want me to come back, I can tell you how. But is that really what you want?”

“What I want is to go back in time thirty-three years and have that gun Dean told me about, the Colt, the night that demon came for Sammy. What I need is something to hold onto. I can’t put that on the boys. They can’t be my link between my old life and the new one I’ve been thrust into. But I think you can be.”

“Okay.” John brushed her hair back and leaned in, whispering in Mary’s ear. Mary nodded a couple times. “Got it?”

“I understand. I’m getting out of here tomorrow. Can Sam and Dean and Gwen help?”

“If you want them to. The boys probably have unresolved issues with me, but I think they can shove those aside long enough to say hello, at least. And you be sure and tell Dean that I’m going to be incredibly disappointed if he doesn’t make me prove who I am.”

Mary giggled a little and laid back down. The sensation of going through John was a very odd one. Apparently it was weird for John, too, as he quickly moved to lie beside her instead of overlapping. “I’ll be gone when you wake up, Mary, but I can stay until you fall asleep. I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Mary closed her eyes and snuggled back against John.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are loved!


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